At Large with Tom Williams > > The Walt Murphy Connection

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Submitted / Walt Murphy’s friends enjoy receiving The Walt Murphy Connection, filled with humorous and informative links and commentary. Submitted / Walt Murphy’s friends enjoy receiving The Walt Murphy Connection, filled with humorous and informative links and commentary. Most people know Walt Murphy.

He came to this area after serving his country in the military and graduating from Seton Hall University. He became one of the driving forces behind the success on WOND Radio in the 1960s and 1970s, helping to create impressive promotions.

Murphy has worked at other radio stations and with the Atlantic City Chamber of Commerce. For a little over 25 years he has directed his own public relations firm. Now in his 80s, he has also found an entertaining way to communicate using email.

Emails from The Walt Murphy Connection include links to videos, both humorous and informative. Updates on his granddaughter Delaney, a crew all star in college, plus information on the Irish American Cultural Society, the Public Relations Council of Greater Atlantic City, the Atlantic City Aquarium and the Bay Atlantic Symphony, among others.

Murphy uses humor a lot, including satires of real news stories, many from humorist Andy Borowitz. Here is one example:

A delegation of conservative members of Congress paid a visit to the West Antarctic Ice Sheet melt today to witness firsthand what one of them called “the most beautiful expression of the free market I’ve ever seen.”

The author of that remark, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin), said that he was awestruck after watching gigantic chunks of glacier disintegrate and crash to the sea.

“Every school child in America needs to see this,” he said. “This is the free market at work in the way that God and Ayn Rand intended.”

Rep. Ryan said that watching the now-unstoppable Ice Sheet melt in action reaffirmed his belief in “the glory and might of free-market forces.”

“Now more than ever, I believe that government needs to get out of the way of glaciers,” he said.

Another member of the delegation, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota), decried what she called the “alarmism” surrounding reports of the collapsing Ice Sheet.

“The Ice Sheet melt is only a problem if you live in Antarctica, which, honestly, is a pretty dumb place to live,” she said. “Polar bears live in Antarctica because they have no choice, but we’re not polar bears.”

His messages might include an anonymous poem.

It was the first of May, a lovely warm spring day

I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,

but my knees were all a-flutter and I landed in the gutter.

A pig came up and lay down by my side.

Yes, I lay there in the gutter thinking thoughts I could not utter,

when a lady passing by did softly say.

'You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses'

and the pig got up and slowly walked away.

As a lexophile, Murphy likes to play with words, delighting in expressions like:

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Police were called to a day care center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

OK, some of it is corny stuff. But it will bring a little relief from the stress of your day.

The videos Murphy sends are varied and interesting. There will be links to four of them included in the online version of this column.

Here is a recent message from Murphy.

“Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”

WOMAN: “I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$90,000.”

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if it's what you really want.”

WOMAN: “OK. I'll see you later. I love you so much.”

MAN: “Bye. I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

You need to become part of The Walt Murphy Connection.* * *

Words to Remember: “The Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling offered a ‘total and remorseful’ apology for his racist comments today, telling reporters, ‘Once I saw that Donald Trump was defending me, I knew I had done something horribly wrong.’

“Sterling acknowledged that he had turned a blind eye to a mountain of criticism from basketball luminaries and national leaders, but said that seeing Trump defend him on Fox News on Monday had left him shaken.

“‘Look, I know I’m not perfect,’ he said. ‘But when Donald Trump takes your side, you have to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself - have I become some kind of monster?’”

– Humorous parody from Andy Borowitz via The Walt Murphy Connection

Here are some videos recently shared by walt Murphy:

  

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