My advice to the graduates: Have a ‘Glee’ful life!

Last Updated on Thursday, June 07, 2012 04:30 pm Written by Cindy Nevitt Friday, June 08, 2012 01:06 am

Graduation ceremonies are often marked by grave proclamations about how “today is the first day of the rest of your life,” or how “today is the day that one chapter ends, but another begins,” or how “today is the day one door closes, but another one opens.”

That’s some pretty unoriginal stuff.

So for this year’s graduates, I offer completely different advice: live your life like an episode of “Glee.” Every problem can be solved with a song.

The high school students on the hit Fox program have sung their way through first love, heartbreak, bullying, disabilities, gay bashing, bullying, knee socks and geeky chic clothes, bullying, adoption, interracial and interfaith romance, bullying, suicide attempts, divorce, bullying, mean girls and jocks, bullying, homelessness, college rejection letters, bullying, underage drinking, death, bullying, domestic violence, disappointment, and bullying.

There have been hookups and breakups, engagements and broken marriages, teen moms and faked pregnancies. Through the occasional victory, the frequent defeat, the slushie-in-the-face attacks, these kids have endured with pitch-perfect singing, spot-on choreography and an impressive roster of Hollywood A-list, guest appearances.

There is no reason why any other high school graduate cannot live the same life, except for possibly not living in Hollywood, not knowing any A-list actors, and not possessing an iota of musical talent.

Still, it is imperative that you know the right songs because you never know when you will encounter the real-world version of a sarcastic cheerleading coach, an inept principal, an OCD-suffering guidance counselor or a painfully earnest choir director with impeccable hair.

OC Unfiltered is here to help, graduates. Here is the play list for the rest of your lives:

After tossing your cap in the air and collecting your diploma, it’s time to leave the “Teenage Dream” (Katy Perry) behind and have the “Time of Your Life” (Green Day). “Get The Party Started” (Pink) by “Dancing in the Dark” (Bruce Springsteen) with a “Jersey Girl” (Bruce Springsteen). You’ll protest you “Ain’t Even Done With the Night” (John Mellencamp) and that “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (Cyndi Lauper), but graduation is officially over when even you have to admit “Here Comes The Sun” (The Beatles).

Sure, “School’s Out for Summer” (Alice Cooper) and you’re on the “Edge of Glory” (Lady Gaga), but at some point you’re going to realize “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (The Rolling Stones) and you have to head off to college or start working “9 to 5” (Dolly Parton).

Inevitably, you will suffer through a “Bad Romance” (Lady Gaga), but “Don’t Stop Believin’” (Journey) because what doesn’t kill you makes you “Stronger” (Kelly Clarkson). Whether you end up “Jessie’s Girl” (Rick Springfield), “Bobby’s Girl” (Marcie Blane) or “A Boy Named Sue” (Johnny Cash), “One of These Nights” (The Eagles) you will realize you were “Born This Way” (Lady Gaga).

You may feel the urge to “Fly Away” (Lenny Kravitz) and be “The Wanderer” (Dion), and you may go “Lookin’ for Love” in all the wrong places (Waylon Jennings), but almost everyone who was “Born to Run” (Bruce Springsteen) eventually finds himself “Coming Home” (Sugarland).

“Are You Lonesome Tonight?” (Elvis Presley) There’s a good chance you are if you’ve informed all the “Single Ladies” (Beyonce) you weren’t “Going to the Chapel of Love” (Crystals) and you were told in return to “Hit the Road, Jack” (Ray Charles). You protest you’re “An Innocent Man” (Billy Joel) and you “Haven’t Got Time for the Pain” (Carly Simon), but what you really fear is that you will “Lose Yourself” (Eminem) if you pledge to live “Faithfully” (Journey). “Somebody That I Used to Know” (Gotye) is the way you refer to your ex, and you vow “My Heart Will Go On” (Celine Dion) as you find “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” (Paul Simon).

At some point, you stop thinking you have “100 Years” (Five for Fighting) to live because you can’t save “Time in a Bottle” (Jim Croce) and no matter how hard you try, you will not be “Forever Young” (Rod Stewart).

“Time is on My Side” (The Rolling Stones), you insist, but once the “Cat’s in the Cradle” (Harry Chapin), it all becomes a blur “In the Living Years” (Mike and the Mechanics). “Workin’ for a Living” (Huey Lewis and The News), you “Punch the Clock” (Elvis Costello) until, pushed to your limit, you declare “It’s My Life” (Bon Jovi) and inform your boss “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (Twisted Sister) anymore. Your unsolicited advice to “Take This Job and Shove It” (Johnny Paycheck) puts you “Out of Work” (Bruce Springsteen). You say “Thanks for the Memories” (Bob Hope) because you know “The Best is Yet to Come” (Frank Sinatra).

“In The End” (LinkinPark), your request for “A Little More Time” (LeAnn Rimes) is denied. You opt to “Give Peace a Chance” (The Beatles) before you “Take A Bow” (Madonna) and make your exit, a “Candle in the Wind” (Elton John).

There you go, graduates. The play list of your lives. Crank up the volume and have a good one!

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