Post Sandy: We are never, ever, ever getting our lives back together

Last Updated on Wednesday, February 20, 2013 11:59 am Written by Cindy Nevitt Friday, February 15, 2013 01:00 am

Almost four months have passed since the Jersey Shore was hammered by a storm of historic proportions, and Sandy fatigue is beginning to set in. Just as we got past the task of cleaning up, we had to deal with insurance matters.

Now, the problems are no longer coming at us one at a time. They’re ganging up on us. The advisory base flood elevation maps released by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and adopted by Gov. Christie are freaking people out. Should we raise our houses? How high? As high as FEMA suggests plus as high as Ocean City’s own code requires? How much will that cost?

Should we leave our houses where they are and pay exorbitant flood insurance premiums as a result? Or should we drop our insurance if our mortgage is paid off?

Should we stay or should we go? Who will buy a home that has lost significant value overnight thanks to government interference, and how much will the buyer pay? Should we even bother worrying about how high our property taxes are going to climb?

No one knows any of the answers to any of the questions. The prevailing wisdom is to take a wait-and-see approach. Have patience, we are told.

That might work for some people. In this instance, however, I prefer the Taylor Swift method of dealing with painful reality, and have written a song to capture the mood of the moment.

With apologies to Ms. Swift, the reigning princess of pop music, I present “We Are Never Ever Getting Over Sandy,” sung to the tune of Taylor’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

We Are Never Ever Getting Over Sandy

I remember when you broke ashore, that Monday

Spewing sand and water and heartache, 'cause like

We hadn't seen a storm like you in 50 years

And you, said you, were gonna bust us up (what?)

You left the whole city in a mess, then you

Sent us flood adjusters and demolition trucks, and said

This would fix us up

We hate you, we want you to go away, but you just won’t

Oooh, I called the adjuster again last night

But oooh, this time I’m telling him, I'm telling him

We are never ever, ever getting over Sandy

We are never ever, ever getting over Sandy

You go talk to FEMA talk

To adjusters talk BFE

But we are never ever, ever getting our lives back together

Like ever ...

I'm really gonna miss adjusters picking fights, over

My denied flood insurance claims, and you

Hiding out inside the library,

Always finding more ways to tell people "no" 

Oooh, I called the adjuster again last night

But oooh, this time I’m telling him, I'm telling him

We are never ever, ever getting over Sandy

We are never ever, ever getting over Sandy

You go talk to FEMA talk

To adjusters talk BFE

But we are never ever, ever getting our lives back together

Our real estate, is worthless, yes, we know

It’s not above sea level, it’s below

We are stuck in a V zone and we’re going to go broke

Four months later, we’re like, this is exhausting, Chris Christie

We are never getting our lives back together, like ever

We are never ever, ever getting over Sandy

We are never ever, ever getting over Sandy

You go talk to FEMA talk

To adjusters talk BFE

But we are never ever, ever getting our lives back together

We can’t afford to raise our homes sky high

And we can’t afford increased premiums, so bye-bye                  

The mass exodus from the shore towns will lay waste

To the $38 billion-a-year tourism industry

Oooh, oooh, we are never ever, ever getting it back together

You go talk to FEMA talk

To adjusters talk BFE

But we are never ever, ever, ever getting our lives back together

---

< Prev		Next >