To the editor:
The Centers for Disease Control has officially declared Fox News addiction a pandemic. Furthermore, this disease, having permeated much of the United States, most notably in politically “red” states but in “blue” states as well, has been found to contain a potent subliminal messaging component that attacks brain cells, especially in white working-class folks, causing them to support politicians opposed to their best economic interests.
It’s easy to get hooked. After perhaps three or four doses of say, Sean Hannity or Bill O’Reilly, a mysterious vapor begins to envelope neuron pathways, reroute logic circuits and create cravings for more and more anti-progressive ramblings.
Indeed, that subliminal component threatened to put Mitt Romney over the top in his quest for the White House and threatened the economic well-being of America’s middle class.
From the perspective of an uninfected observer, the very idea that middle-income Americans would agree with supply-side economic theories, support the repeal of an estate tax that only affects the wealthy, believe that government is always the problem, and so forth, seems quite bizarre.
One methadone-like antidote that could break the addiction is a liberal dose of Rachel Maddow, aka Maddowdone treatment. Medical professionals do, however, recommend at least a two-week course of CNN’s Wolf Blitzer mild psychotherapy before engaging in this rather drastic regimen akin to shock therapy. The infected brain would not likely be able to withstand the intense withdrawal symptoms produced by Maddowdone and might explode without some preliminary preparation.
MSNBC researchers, abetting the CDC, have worked with this powerful anti-brainwashing remedy for years and found it to be effective in purging nonsense from addled minds not wholly sapped of insight. Potential temporary adverse consequences despite Blitzer psychotherapy such as vigorous denials or bouts of pronounced pouting should not dissuade its usage.
Manipulating minds at both conscious and subconscious levels has been a staple of not-so-Grand Old Party strategists for decades. For example, Newt Gingrich’s libelous label of “food stamp president” strategically directed at President Obama reawakens the darker angels of many working-class white folks and stimulates their knuckle-dragging instincts to unfavorably stereotype those who don’t look quite like them, insuring they will vote the right way.
The pandemic of Fox News addiction remains one of the greatest threats to the well-being of our challenged nation. In tandem with bloviating right-wing talk show hosts on other networks, they could, if successful the next election go-round, shrink our middle class to the size of a thimble.
Blitzing the media, in effect vaccinating our uninfected populace with a progressive pro-middle class set of ideas, ought to be the top priority of Democratic leaders. An ounce of prevention is surely worth a pound of Maddowdone.
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