GOP acting like a comic book character

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To the editor:

Let’s create a made-for-TV fantasy, renaming today’s Elephant Party “the Incredible Bulk.

Apt to mimic the villainous side of the comic book legend, the Incredible Hulk, this political leviathan now trolls about Congress, brandishing its clenched right fist, threatening to release a draconian genie called sequestration from its bottle, slashing government spending to the bone, wreaking havoc upon a nation beginning to recover from a terrible recession.

We might observe the Incredible Bulk sulk each and every time its political opponent, the Burro Party, led by “Barryman” bereft of cape, and his slender sidekick “the Reed,” proposes legislation in the best interest of most U.S. citizens, thwarting that effort by unleashing the evil duo, Phil and Buster, to gum up the works.  

Alas, this makes one pine for the good old days when Congress actually worked for the common good.

The synchronized offensive defensive line of the Incredible Bulk, green with envy at its recent shellacking at the polls, holds firm in the Upper House of Congress, while rabid right wingers quarterbacking the Lower House of Congress launch legislative attacks on middle class and poorer folks, presenting a clear and present danger to the well-being of America.

Most urgently, with the midnight hour approaching, how might a budget ever be crafted putting the sequester genie back into its bottle when the Incredible Bulk wields so much negative power in Congress?  How might our nation maintain its slow recovery from a brutal recession if draconian spending cuts are inflicted upon our public sector causing substantial collateral damage to our private sector?

Fear not. Barryman bereft of cape has a secret weapon.  A moderate governor, albeit not of the same political lineage, has the chutzpah and popularity to cut the Incredible Bulk down to size. None other than Corpulent Christie, super hero in the wings, with his heart in Jersey and mouth as big as Texas, could accomplish this daunting task.

Fresh from thrashing House Speaker John Banal, front man for the Bulk, reducing him to tears for delaying aid to storm ravaged Jersey citizens, if Corpulent Christie chooses to accept Mission Improbable, there is a chance he could succeed in moving that immovable object, now king of Capitol Hill, with his irresistible force.

What are the obstacles our hero in the wings might face? Could a supporting role for this dynamic governor eventually lead to stardom in 2016?  Moreover, how could Corpulent Christie battle the Incredible Bulk from outside the Washington Beltway?  Would he have a fat chance of succeeding?

All this remains speculative, but more importantly, if we don’t conjure up a way to avoid sequestration, domestic and military spending will be drastically cut, our national security will be compromised, our nation’s reputation will be tarnished, unemployment will shoot up, financial markets could crash, our fragile economy could yet again lapse into severe recession mode, and so forth.  

This is not a fantasy.         

Lawrence Uniglicht                           




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